Inside Recovery

We all know someone who has gone through substance abuse treatment, or "rehab", as it is usually referred to.  Addiction does not care if you are rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, fat, thin, smart, stupid, or anything else.  You can become addicted to things which are not in themselves "addictive", gambling and food, for two examples.  An addiction becomes a problem when feeding it takes priority over self-care, relationships, and even life itself.  If you lie to yourself and others about your consumption, if you plan your life around your drug of choice, or if doing without makes you irritable, you need help and fast before you do irreparable damage to yourself or someone else.

Addictions are not necessarily bad, as any self-respecting coffee drinker will attest.  For a long time, my daily wine was not a bad addiction (well, it actually was, but I didn't see it that way at the time) but then my consumption began creeping up and my ability to cope began declining and I realized that I powerless over alcohol.  At first, I believed that my problems were psychological and if I could resolve my repressed feelings, I would no longer feel the need to have more than a glass of wine with dinner.  I signed up for outpatient rehab because I knew that I needed to stop drinking while in intensive therapy and a "dual-diagnosis" program was the only option available. 

While in recovery, and afterwards, I kept a journal which I published in blog form before turning it into a manuscript.  My reason for publishing this highly personal record of my illness is to help others by showing them what a gift recovery is.  I think about drinking every day and socialize with people who drink but I know that every day I do not drink alcohol is a good day because I am free.