A Day Made for Drinking

Every day is a day made for drinking if you are an alcoholic (or drugging if you are an addict).  The trick to staying sober is recognizing your vulnerability in the face of bad news, disappointments, frustrations, hurt feelings, and crises.  Thirty years ago tomorrow, my mother committed suicide.  Over the weekend, while I was out of town, my darling sun conure died.  A month ago, my husband lost his job -- at age 61 -- and we are way below our target for retirement savings.  Last weekend, my psychologically challenged, but brilliant, daughter ruined a family gathering because she couldn't be in two places at the same time.  When she finally decided to call me, it wasn't to apologize, it was to make me feel guilty for not tolerating her childish and self-centered behavior.

The wine bottles are in the cellar and the corkscrew is in the utensil drawer and I could pop one open at any time, but I do not even entertain the possibility.  Why is that?  After my long relapse, during which time I was convinced that I was not really an alcoholic, my consumption slowly and then rapidly ratcheted up and I once again found myself approaching the abyss.  I cannot go back and now, I no longer fantasize about going back to my old friend, Wine.  Alcohol numbs the pain, yes, but it also makes it worse.

Having a clear heart, mind, and spirit allows me to float like cork on my ocean of troubles and this is for me the definition of freedom.