Each of us has flaws and shortcomings, some of which cannot
be changed. It is important to recognize
these things, accept them as reality, and forgive ourselves for being less than
perfect. More important, however, is
finding things about ourselves to appreciate.
We cannot all look like movie stars, in fact most of us do not: we are too short/tall, too fat/thin, too
dark/fair, too hirsute/bald, too much this, not enough that. This tearing down of self is an act of
self-destruction and only serves to feed our addictions.
Unless you are a hermit, there are people with whom you
interact on a regular basis, including family members, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Unfortunately, all of these people have flaws
and shortcomings which can stir up uncomfortable feelings inside. If you find yourself saying, "Suzie
makes me so mad!", consider that Suzie cannot MAKE you do anything unless
she is pointing a gun at your head, and even then you have a choice: to be or not to be. In reality, you are reacting to Suzie's behavior
and this is something within your ambit.
The hard work of acceptance in recovery is separating your own emotions
from the behavior and emotions of others.
Once you learn to do this, you can change how you respond when people in
your life do things that trigger upsetting feelings.
Finally, life has a way of frustrating the best laid
plans. Weather, health, politics, and
economics shape the world in which we live.
Our task is to learn to manage our inner response to unanticipated
challenges and problems. In order to do
that, we must learn to accept the storms that rain on parades and find some
other way to move forward with our lives.
It is not always possible to make lemonade out of life's lemons, so it
is important to accept and embrace how powerless we truly are.
Recovering Life begins here.
Copyright 2014 Serena Englander, all rights reserved
