More Thoughts on Acceptance

Each of us has flaws and shortcomings, some of which cannot be changed.  It is important to recognize these things, accept them as reality, and forgive ourselves for being less than perfect.  More important, however, is finding things about ourselves to appreciate.  We cannot all look like movie stars, in fact most of us do not:  we are too short/tall, too fat/thin, too dark/fair, too hirsute/bald, too much this, not enough that.  This tearing down of self is an act of self-destruction and only serves to feed our addictions.

Unless you are a hermit, there are people with whom you interact on a regular basis, including family members, friends, co-workers, and neighbors.  Unfortunately, all of these people have flaws and shortcomings which can stir up uncomfortable feelings inside.  If you find yourself saying, "Suzie makes me so mad!", consider that Suzie cannot MAKE you do anything unless she is pointing a gun at your head, and even then you have a choice: to be or not to be.  In reality, you are reacting to Suzie's behavior and this is something within your ambit.  The hard work of acceptance in recovery is separating your own emotions from the behavior and emotions of others.  Once you learn to do this, you can change how you respond when people in your life do things that trigger upsetting feelings.

Finally, life has a way of frustrating the best laid plans.  Weather, health, politics, and economics shape the world in which we live.  Our task is to learn to manage our inner response to unanticipated challenges and problems.  In order to do that, we must learn to accept the storms that rain on parades and find some other way to move forward with our lives.  It is not always possible to make lemonade out of life's lemons, so it is important to accept and embrace how powerless we truly are. 

Recovering Life begins here.

Copyright 2014 Serena Englander, all rights reserved